In today’s episode Registered Dietitian Nutritionist Melissa Landry interviews her former client, Amanda Street to talk about how women in bigger bodies can find food freedom in a fatphobic world.
Prior to pursuing food freedom, Amanda believed in body positivity for herself and others… but still struggled with dieting behaviors and food guilt! In this episode, we talk about how she used the No Guilt Framework to:
- align the way she treated her body to her body positive aspirations
- why Amanda chose food freedom over dieting “just one more time”
- barriers to finding food freedom for women in bigger bodies (like, people offering diet advice and always assuming you want to lose weight – eye roll)
- ways Amanda over came barriers to find food freedom
- plus, tips for anyone in a bigger body who feels they should “lose weight before trying intuitive eating” or feels that food freedom just isn’t for someone like them!
Episode Resources:
Join the Break the Diet Cycle Podcast Community on Instagram: @break.the.diet.pod
Connect with Melissa on Instagram: @no.more.guilt
Connect with Dalina on Instagram: @your.latina.nutritionist
Subscribe to Break the Diet Cycle on Apple Podcasts
This episode was sponsored by No More Guilt with Melissa Landry. Reminder that though we are dietitians, we’re not *YOUR* dietitian. Podcasts don’t constitute treatment. If you have concerns about your dieting behaviors, seek out guidance from a medical or mental health professional. And if you’re looking for the process, support, and focus you need to live life without food guilt apply for a coaching program from today’s sponsor. No More Guilt with Melissa Landry is currently enrolling clients into 1:1 programs, group programs, and, recently added a do-it-yourself learning format: the Ex-Dieter’s Guide to No More Guilt.
“How can women in bigger bodies find food freedom in a fat phobic world?” transcript
Melissa Landry 0:04 Hi there, we are experts in intuitive eating for on again off again chronic dieters, and we are here to help you take the guilt and stress out of eating so you can become the first in your family to break the diet cycle, just like we are in our families. We want you to be who you are without food guilt. Be sure to follow us on Instagram. No more guilt for Melissa and your Latina nutritionist for Dalina Are you ready? Let's break the diet cycle. Melissa Landry: Hi there today we have a very special solo episode with yours truly, Melissa Dalina is being supermom out picking up her kids. And so I decided to move forward with my darling guest. I'm very excited for you to meet. Today we have Amanda Street who is a former client of mine here to talk about what it was like for her to learn intuitive eating and a bigger body. The reason we're talking about this today, as know is that we're doing an intuitive eating series on the podcast starting next week. There's more to it than just eat what you want. Amanda and I are going to talk about the nuances there. And so this episode is to help prime you to prepare for those principles we'll jump into starting next week. All right, I'm gonna zip my lip, Amanda, and welcome to the podcast. Amanda Street 2:08: Thanks so much for having me. I'm really excited. Melissa Landry 2:12 Why don't you give us a quick intro. Tell us a little bit about yourself before we dive in. Amanda Street 2:16 Okay, so yes, as you said, my name is Amanda Street. I'm 25 years old. I live in Seattle, Washington, I work in human resources in the construction industry. And I have been on my intuitive eating journey now for about six months, and have been living a much better life since then. And have been struggling with body positivity with diet culture with all that for at least a decade. And I was so grateful to come across your page on Instagram and to reach out to me for resources when I really needed help. And I'm excited to share my experience of growing up and with intuitive eating with you today. Melissa Landry 3:08 So great. I remember when we first met Amanda, do you remember what you said? You were like I saw your posts. And I was like, heck yes. Someone is finally talking about this stuff. We had an instant connection when we first met, you know, on that first discovery call we had talked through like why it was that you wanted to choose a food freedom journey. I think a lot of people struggle with like, should I try dieting one more time? Maybe Maybe there's something I'm missing that I have to look under another few rocks here to see if possibly it could work for you. You know, you would come to the conclusion it wouldn't work anymore. So why did you choose food freedom over dieting at that point? Amanda Street 3:46 Yeah. So I grew up in what I would say is a fat phobic family phobic society. And later on, I learned about pelvic world. And I felt like I've tried it all. I was counting calories. I was exercising for hours a day. From teenage all the way through young adulthood. I watched family members go on and off these fad diets with big name brands that we've all heard and cringed many times. And at one point, I knew that it wasn't working because I had seen it not work for myself. I did it not work for close family members. That didn't not work for best friends, teachers. Melissa Landry 4:36 The list goes on. Amanda Street 4:39 I knew that that wasn't the path for me to go on. I knew that if I really had the final straw moment, which I didn't have, like the end of 2020. I knew that. If I had if I tried something like a fad diet or counting calories again or exercising like crazy. I knew that I'd fail and not wouldn't work. And it wasn't I guess it wasn't necessarily that it I would fail it was that it would fail. Because it always does and feeling the way that I felt. And I knew there had to be something out there. That was different. I knew there had to be there couldn't be just a life of losing weight and being pissed off at yourself. Melissa Landry 5:23 Yeah Amanda Street 5:24 yeah. So, again, I found you, I don't even know how I found you maybe on an explorer page, or maybe someone shared something that you had posted. And I was like, Wait, hold on. That seems like something that I thought in my head for years, but I thought that that was the wrong way of thinking. Right? She was telling me that is the right way. Then I found you, I followed you probably for a year, maybe more than that and shared all your posts. I was like, Yes. This one, this one sharing it on my story, commenting on it, sharing it with friends, like, see, look, this girl gets it. I think eventually when that time came, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I said, I don't even know where to begin looking for help. Yeah, I didn't know where to turn, and I am on Instagram, I accidentally opened my phone and just click on the app just as a habit. And your posts have popped up. And I said, Hmm, I wonder if she knows or offer services or anything. And you'd had links and stories. And I found you and I had no idea what I was getting myself into when we first started, I just knew that you were thinking the same thing on the same wavelength. And that you could probably help me with some stuff. And yeah, it was way more than I ever expected it to be. Yeah, it's changed me so much. And I am hopeful and saying that this might be the last breaking point feeling that I felt like that I have down days I have updates. But I feel like the lowest of the low I don't think I'll ever hit again, now that I have the skills that you've taught you. Melissa Landry 7:09 yeah. And that's a testament to you and your you know, your grit. Amanda, I think a lot of times people share a similar experience where they didn't know intuitive eating was a thing. But part of them sensed that dieting wasn't working. And they've maybe had ideas of like, I wish I could just eat I often hear the phrase, I wish I could eat like a normal person. Like that's kind of the wish that people have. And when they see intuitive eating, they're like, oh, okay, that puts a label on what's possible for me. And it sounds like the same thing happened to you? Amanda Street 7:40 Yeah, absolutely. It was like, all these other people get to eat whatever they want and look like straight size model on. I don't know, Victoria's Secret magazine, or whatever. But I mean, I don't know if that's even people even look at magazines like that anymore. Melissa Landry 7:58 I know, you're 25 years younger than me magazines, are they still? You see them at the checkout counter? Amanda Street 8:04 Instagram model or whatever, right? But then there was, Oh, well, I have to eat, you know, like my pet rabbit eats? Melissa Landry 8:12 Yeah, it's and that's that is not. That's injustice. And I, I think you know, one of the things I like to share is a story about my mom and how her life growing up, I was very confused how there was differences in the way that I was treated. And you know, I wasn't told to diet or watch what I eat because I had a naturally smaller body. Meanwhile, she is nitpicked at the doctor's office by family members and friends. And so I haven't gone through it, but I've seen it happen. And it means a lot to me to be able to get this message out and just make sure that my mom's story doesn't repeat itself. So you mentioned that there was a breaking point for you at the end of 2020, where like, you know, you were kind of coasting on Instagram. You were It sounds like you were started working with some of the ideas. Can I ask what was the breaking point in 2020? What made you want to actually get a little bit more specific and detailed with your help? Amanda Street 9:02 Yeah, so as we know, 2020 was quite the year. And we ended up going into lockdown. And I really just felt the whole kind of anxiety that I'm sure many people felt around, not knowing what was going to happen in the future, not knowing that you were going to get sick, you're gonna hurt the people you love for us, we're going to hurt you. You have no idea right from being in that I very much self isolated. And I was at home. I was neglecting myself because I was kind of just on survival mode. I had my my voice in my head telling me who cares. You don't know what's going to happen. Just go crazy. Eat what you want. Do what you want with your life and it went from you know me just having kind of regular eating patterns and being on what felt like a normal eating habit. It's an in life habits to over eating, making myself feel sick, really just hurting my body. And I was on that cycle for a few months where I was overeating, to the point where it hurt me and I was feeling horrible or gaining weight. And I was really afraid of gaining weight. And eventually it led to me looking into intuitive or not intermittent intermittent fasting, which I was on for when I was a teenager, I did intermittent fasting. And now that I am an adult, is it Oh, well, that worked for me when I was a kid. It can work for me again, which shock spoiler alert, work. And I was not eating anything during the day and was, you know, dinner came, I was, quote, good all day, I didn't eat anything. So I could have as much as I want for dinner because I had nothing during the day and found myself sitting on my couch, eating till feeling sick, and then continuing still going forward and then feeling like garbage the next day and be like, Wow, well, you really messed up last night time to not eat anything. And it just was a cycle. And eventually, not only did that impact, of course, my physical health, it impacted my mental health where it became something that was very emotional for me where anyone would bring up dieting, or, oh, I'm on this no sugar contest with my husband where we're going to see who can not. Melissa Landry 11:40 I wish they could see your mocking body language right now. Amanda Street 11:44 No, I was never anything I bought into. But it was only something that I always thought about I hit my head. Well, maybe they're saying that because they want me to do it. Maybe they're saying that because they've noticed I've gained weight. And we want to help me. Yeah. And I there was just one day where a co worker, once again brought it up, she had brought it up. So I felt like every time we had a discussion, and I got off the call with her, and just immediately broke down in tears and called my mom because my mom is my best friend. She's the person that I go to for everything. I call her 20 times a day if I could I crying on the phone mom, she brought up again, what does this mean? Like? Why am I crying about somebody else? trying something that I know it's going to fail them. But why am I emotional about this? And I don't want to feel like this anymore? And what do what should I do help me I finally was saying I need help somebody thought please rescue me from this cycle of terror. And my mom said, you need help. I love her because she's so straightforward like that, like, Oh, yeah, honey, you need to get some help. Melissa Landry 13:01 We sometimes need that voice in our life. You know, Amanda Street 13:04 I felt it. I felt like, Oh, I need help. But really does someone be like, Yeah, you do was like, Okay, I guess I really do need help. I should probably like, why am I feeling this way? I don't need to feel stagnant in this feeling. Go get help figure it out, go find something right will help you. And so I feel like that was my breaking point was ships breaking down over something that just felt so silly, but really, really hurt me? It really did. Yeah, my core. I felt it. Like, every time anyone had ever said a comment to me. It just was brought back up anytime anyone mentioned that. And I don't feel like that anymore. And they still talk about it. Melissa Landry 13:46 Oh, believe me? Oh, we've we you and I spent many, many hours talking about how we can't change other people. And this is what I admire so much about you is that there is this fundamental self respect that you have Amanda that was like, I deserve better. I deserve to eat like everybody else. I deserve to feel joy in my body. I deserve respect. And I'm going to start that with me. I think that is even if you don't know the steps to take even if you're still a little bit afraid of what intuitive, it might mean having that little flicker. It's not loud, even if it's just a whisper. It feels like that was such an important part of your success in the three months we were together. Amanda Street 14:24 Yeah, I would agree. I mean, I feel like that's applicable to a lot of situations in my life where I think that a lot of things happened to me. And I could have done something where I said no, put my foot down. Like I deserve more respect for this. And I'm not getting it. So I'm out. That didn't happen to me. And I didn't feel that way about many things until I look back on it later and said, Wow, I really wish I would have just got out of that terrible job or got out of that horrible relationship like I knew that was Crazy, I knew what they said wasn't making sense. I knew, right? You know, whatever way you spin it, but I knew I needed something different and better for myself. And I think that I'm so glad that I finally took an action step and did that. Because I know that in the future, I'll be able to do it again with other things. But I think that it was something that was really important for me to just realize, like, yes, it doesn't matter if you feel like you deserve negativity, doesn't matter if you feel like you deserve people putting you down. I know a lot of people have I've heard stuff like, Oh, I almost feel like I deserve it. But why, why we're not doing anything that we shouldn't sell, punish? Why what's the point? Yeah, Melissa Landry 15:48 you're allowed to exist in a bigger body without punishment and judgment. And I think what's unfortunate, what's difficult is that there's not a lot of messaging out there. You know, as you were growing up, you didn't have a lot of messaging for that your family was really into dieting, hands up, like a lot of families are. And so this was your opportunity, like many of my clients to kind of be the first in your family to take a step back. Think about what they want for their life, and then move forward from there. Now, when we were together, we really started in on that intermittent fasting value and the lessons you have learned from that, because those messages were causing a lot of like good, bad foodstuff, we were able to neutralize that pretty quickly. And we worked on things like boundary setting and emotional coping, and eventually movement and nutrition. And so, you know, you worked on quite a bit during our time together, did that feel overwhelming? You know, looking back, was it? Did it feel like a crash course? Or did it feel like we were stepping into it one one step at a time? What What was it like for you? back then? Amanda Street 16:54 I feel like probably both. That's honest. When I was having great days, it felt like I could take on every aspect, right? Like I was like, Oh, absolutely. I'm feeling amazing about my body. I'm not going to fast. I'm going to do what I want. Eat what I want this to my body. Oh, and let's talk about movement. Oh, and let's talk about nutrition. Let's talk about all this stuff. I can handle it. And then on the weeks where things were really bad, it was like, I can't even imagine thinking about this today. It just felt like I had too much to worry about. I have work I have family I have, you know, I'm studying for an exam for sort of HR certification. I have family coming into town, I had a memorial service to attend, I have all these things coming up. And sometimes it was overwhelming. But the important part that I just had to keep telling myself was you know, it was more overwhelming, trying to fit into this world, like trying to shop. I'm a circle body and I'm trying to shove myself into a square peg. Yeah, that was more frustrating and overwhelming and challenging and detrimental than this ever was. And I knew that even if one day it felt like I failed something. It was okay. Because that's just one day. It's in the past. You know what, just do better for yourself tomorrow. And I even the last few days, I had like three or four days this week where I was just not myself. I just didn't feel like myself and when I don't feel like myself but I'm feeling kind of down and emotional. I don't think about taking care of myself. I just think wow, I'm really bummed out. Yeah, it's kind of sucks. And eventually I pulled myself right back out and I you know, today I'm gonna be better for myself and that's okay, I'm fine with having those dips in those days. And then I because I know at some point I'm gonna pull myself right back. Yeah, that Yeah, there's that confidence in yourself. Yeah, it took a while to get there but I got there. Melissa Landry 19:04 I think so many people put off this journey for the exact reason you're mentioning it's like well, if I can't do it perfect or 100% I might as well not try. Especially this last year I was reminded of the ways people can make a big difference just by showing up a little bit consistently. You know, a lot of people kids were at home work was bananas. there was all this stuff that was even more stressful stressful than the usual stresses of life. And I think your attitude is spot on like for anyone who's waiting to start practicing even one aspect of intuitive eating till you know when works go home or or you know after my kids are in school or all sorts of things. Amanda is kind of proving that you can take it one step at a time you know, you can you can still be successful because show me Show me that time in life where every day is glorious and you know you've got everything works out the way to plan you know, you got to learn in real life. You Amanda Street 20:00 Yeah. And I also learned to that if I wait, like, why am I waiting? I deserve to be better and to take a step to feel better about myself right now, tomorrow, the next day, yesterday, 10 years ago, I deserved that. So why am I waiting one other day? It just, it wasn't something that I needed to put myself through. Right. And everyone else who said otherwise to me, Oh, I can't hear you. Sorry. I'm focused myself. I'm good. Yeah, too loud to hear your negativity or your comments, and really having your program and going once a week. And then once every other week, it was really important to me to have at least a day, an hour a week dedicated to exactly what we're talking about to being better to improving. Yeah. Taking care of yourself. And now I've applied that, obviously, I do it by myself. Yeah, I do it little chunks every day. But it was something I almost Let not even impact me for months, years, decades. And now it's like, No, no, it's every day. And it's little things. And I almost don't think about it now. But I do but it's natural. It's Yeah. It's like, stop. Are you still hungry? Yes. Okay, keep eating. Melissa Landry 21:28 Right, right, right. I'm gonna keep eating or Oh, no, I'm, I'm kind of over this all put it down. You know, it's, it's more natural than Right. Yeah. It gets better that, right. And that's why the calls are important in the beginning, because you have this hour to have like a training ground almost. So even if the shit hit the fan the whole week, that time is there for you to say like, I need to help me restock my priorities here. Because I can't do it all or you don't have a week where I feel I can take on a little bit more. And so we were able to kind of like slow things down or pick things up based on how you were feeling how fast the learning was coming. And then that created automatic habits that you now nurture, and you will nurture, honestly, for the rest of your life, just like we all do. So that's a great summary of like, it feels a little bit more rigorous in the beginning, but it it does get easier in it and it only gets stronger. Amanda Street 22:23 I remember I think I told you, I was like, I'm not someone that you say, Hey, why don't you take this home and work on this before next call. I was like, I'm not doing any homework. I'm not someone that will do anything extra that needs to happen. And I think after the first things that Oh, yeah, why don't you come up with some things? There's some problems you can answer you don't have to. And then what did I do? I went home during that week and wrote an answer to every single question and thought about it and did all the homework that was optional. And yeah, it just it shows that the work when you're focused in it, and you're focused on bettering yourself that it pays off, and that you might even surprise yourself. Melissa Landry 23:05 Yeah, I can feel exciting. And that's a great message too, because I think people get really fearful. Like, if I look under this hood, what am I gonna find? Like, are bats gonna fly out at me, it's gonna be so terrible. But you know, there were moments of excitement learning feels good, especially on an issue in your life where you haven't had a lot of learning, you just had a lot of like, you know that that diet cycle you've been talking about? It's very frustrating and confusing. And as human beings, we like to make progress. It just nothing feels better than when you're making progress on something. So that was definitely true. The more progress you made, the more motivated you felt to like, try new things and learn in different ways as we went forward. Amanda Street 23:45 Yeah. And I was definitely afraid. And I definitely feel like some of my backs definitely flew out a couple best mechanical bats, Melissa Landry 23:52 but they were friendly. They eventually perched on our shoulders and we became friends. Amanda Street 23:57 Again, they were scary, but I learned how to cope and become friends with my team. But you know, it was it was unlearning a lot of things too, which always is scary. Like, wait, I've been doing this for 10 years. And it feels wrong, but it felt right. But it also didn't feel right. It didn't make sense. But I was told it should make sense. But it did it. Right, right. It's super confusing, really helps having someone that can just kind of take that ball of yarn in the back of your closet and all tangled and crazy and be like, let's just pick this apart one little bit at a time, one little bit at a time. So Melissa Landry 24:40 today in this episode, you know is we're going to in our podcast series, start teaching people some of the skills you learned through our work together. So we're going to go through all those intuitive eating principles and we're hoping you all out there listening can start to weave some of this together. And to women listening who are in bigger bodies. I want to make a decision. I'm gonna caveat, I believe, and Amanda, I know you feel the same way that there is a slightly different experience finding food freedom in a bigger body than in a straight sized body. And it's something you and I would talk about during our sessions. You know, I want to hear from you, like you mentioned this, you know, like, kind of sneaky diet advice from people. What are some of the things that you want women in bigger bodies to know? Like, these are some of the nuances you can get through them? But FYI, these are some of the things I had to think about. As I was going on this journey that might be different Amanda Street 25:31 than say, for me, for a long time, I would get like you said sneaky died advice, or people creeping into my private messages, DMS on Instagram. Hey, just so you know, I got this weight loss surgery and I just wanted to share my success story with you. Or, you know, my family making snide comments like, Oh, I see, you're putting peanut butter on your toast, you know, eggs are a better source of protein, you know, just those little like, side cool. Yeah, are like, Oh, I see. I bet you're so excited to see a refrigerator full of fruits and vegetables. like as if I've never eat really, my life. Just like little side comments from people who you're told, and who you know, love you want the best for you and have good intentions? Well, some things that I've learned over the years are you can have the best intentions even want the best for someone and has extreme negative, unintended consequences from what you say. And it used to be something where I would hold on to and be like, Can you believe she said that to me? Can you believe someone felt like because I had posted a picture of lizzo on my story that they felt that they need to share their weight loss story with me, you need to believe that this happened. And eventually I started being like, that's awesome. And I think you and I talked about that a lot in our sessions where I always internalized it, I always thought they're speaking directly, probably, they're saying I need to do something. They're saying I need to change something. You're saying I'm not good enough the way I am. Basically, they're saying I'm just the worst, you know, everything I do is a bad choice. And if they're thinking that, let them think that I stopped caring about that the person who I care about is me. And what I feel about myself is the most important. And I'm hoping that by having that self love and self confidence, I'm showing them hey, look, I don't care about what you feel. And if you care about the way I look what I'm eating what I'm doing, I'm sorry for you. Yeah, that seems like you have a lot of free time on your hands to worry about other people. So I feel like, yeah, you'll hear that. But number one, that's them. That's their insecurities. That's then projecting whatever they feel like they need to project onto you. And Does it still hurt? When people say that to me? Do I still have what's in my head that says, they might be talking about you? You know? Absolutely. That's right here. But the time between me having that thought and the thought of, oh my god, like, that's them, they can shut up. They can go, you know, EFF off, you know, just like, right? Okay, good for you. But by now, that time in between those two thoughts have gotten shorter and shorter and shorter, the longer and longer I've been doing intuitive eating and practicing self love and caring for myself. And did I think I'd get here? No, probably not. Yeah, if I was 15 years old, and you told me Hey, you're gonna be probably double the weight that you are right now. But you're gonna be happier and better off. Oh, Melissa Landry 28:51 show me the receipts. Amanda Street 28:54 That's a nice theory. Okay. That's Yeah, yeah. I love that. Melissa Landry 29:00 YOU said that. Because I think again, people put it off because there's skepticism, it's okay to feel skeptical. It's okay to feel skeptical. It's possible. That's normal. Everything in life up to this moment has been giving you a different message, I would worry about you if you weren't a little skeptical. What you were able to do is to kind of notice that skepticism, keep it in the room. But also allow yourself to create new experiences. And I love this description of like, does it hurt? Mm hmm, sure does not ideal. That is something that I'm truly hopeful over time like that. This is two aspects of this work. There's individual healing. And there is a social justice movement where we are starting to, especially straight size people in rooms with straight size people saying that's not funny. Let's stop talking about our diets. Let's stop. Oh my my quote, my legs got bigger. Stop it. It's hurting someone. It's hurting you. And so my hope in this is that we don't lose sight of the fact that that treatment you receive is unacceptable. on every level and this is anyone listening a call to just notice it, it shifts it where you can at work and your family. And while that catches up, Amanda shows that there's ways of navigating it and not being held back by it, which is so inspiring to know. Amanda Street 30:16 Yeah. And I've had problems with things like boundary setting, and I still am working on those. I hope to one day be able to say to someone, I don't appreciate that comment on my body. So let's not talk about Yeah, yeah, I really hope to one day, but I can really just stick it to someone and say that I know the day I will get to dm you and be like, Melissa, I did what I said, Yeah, yeah. Until then I'm finding other ways to move around it. There's times where I'm stuck. Like, we've talked about, you know, literally physically getting up and leaving, to subject myself to you sitting here and telling me something that I don't need to hear. But your concern, doesn't get up and walk away. Or I'm just going to label that negativity, not gonna listen to it headphones in sorry. And sometimes I can't escape those things. Sometimes you're stuck on an airplane with someone for two hours, and they're commenting on your body the whole time. Yeah, that's terrible. And did it put me in that funk? Absolutely. I was down for a few days. But again, the time is getting shorter and shorter. And I'm learning to stand up for myself. I'm learning to say, you know what, just because my body looks different than your body doesn't mean I deserve any less respect, doesn't mean I'm less of a human. Doesn't. You don't know anything about me? The fact that you're commenting on my body probably means I'm a better person than you. I would never say that! Melissa Landry 31:49 decency points, right? Yeah. Amanda Street 32:02 First struggles, absolutely. Still, other things still hurt me. And there's things that I still hear from the same people after all the kids hears, and the hurts is still there, but I'm stronger. And I feel like that is something that if anyone takes anything away from that, if you're struggling with that, too, there will be a time and I hate I'd say cheesy, but it gets better. But it's cheesy. It's true. It does. You just you'll get stronger. You just have to stand up for yourself. Yeah, what you think is right for yourself. You're amazing. Melissa Landry 32:41 Guys rewind what you just said, and like play it three more times in a row, rewind it and play it when I'm in my down moment, too. This is actually a great investment for you. It's like, it's like you make a recording to yourself, if you need it, the attention that you had to how we kind of talked about different styles of boundary setting because like the most important thing in our work, was to make it so that dieting wasn't sexy anymore like that, that didn't feel like the solution to the hurt that you were feeling around some of these comments. And so what we kind of did was just lay out what were the different options. And then you kind of had a menu to choose from and you could experiment and you know, sometimes it didn't work. Sometimes it worked. But it was like delayed, like the person needed more repetition. And so we had a little laboratory basically where you could try that on. And you're right, you know, your boundary setting style may evolve over the years, it can change that gives people so much freedom to not feel like they have to like go in guns a blazing, like, Don't anyone ever say they don't like that, that anger that sometimes we feel inside, we're afraid it's going to spill over and we're going to lose control of it. And so I think you did such a beautiful job taking a step back and coming up with your way of being that protected the food freedom that you created. So I want to ask you, you know, we we've talked about some of the barriers that you face and how you navigated it. It sounds like boundary setting and developing that skill was really helpful. There. It sounds like cultivating general self respect and self esteem was really helpful to overcome those barriers. Was there anything else that you found helpful to navigate those unique barriers of being in a bigger body? Amanda Street 34:23 Yeah, I think that the work that we did with labeling the voices in your head really helped me because when something's like, I'm not sure what the word is, when something's just like a thought just like it just creeps in and it's sneaky. And it's just a fluke. Maybe it's leading maybe it's something you cling on to. It's just something that it feels like a battle in your head. You're your own worst critic, and I'm telling you that everything that anyone's ever said to me, I've probably said it to myself. I've probably said it a lot. Nina probably said it for 100 times for 10 years. And to be able to have someone be like, Huh, no, the voice is telling you, Oh, you did this wrong, you should be doing this, like the food police voice to be able to label that and be like, Oh, that's what that is and knowing what to do, oh, label that. And then what you do with that is then combat it with this other. And just being able to have that. I think I told you, I wanted to print your little poster and frame it on my wall. So I could look at it and be like, Oh, yeah, that's you. Yeah, that person that has a really caring voice. Oh, that's you and being able to label it. Melissa Landry 35:39 Like the real you versus these like messages that just became part of the environment for a little while. Amanda Street 35:45 Yeah, yeah, just some adopted voice that wasn't mine. Um, yeah, I would never say that to myself. But I was. That wasn't me. That was the food police saying something. Well, let's let's stop that voiceless facet. They Melissa Landry 36:01 shut it down. Amanda Street 36:03 That's not a good one. Yeah. So I feel like that really helped me. And other things that I did prior to us having our sessions together was I really learned and developed this, like love for clothing and fashion and being plus size and wearing whatever I want to, I feel like that really was impacting me as a teen as a, as a little kid all the way up. I was like, I wish I could wear what those girls wear. I wish I could wear a crop top and look like that. I wish I could wear a backless dress or a body con dress and feel confident. And I always kept all my smaller clothes and did the Oh, well. When I'm when I lose 50 pounds. I can wear these jeans again, and it'll feel so good. And when I did that, oh, it didn't really feel as good as I thought it would feel like, okay, you're putting on pants congratulate Yeah, Melissa Landry 37:02 it was like fantasize a bit bigger than it actually, you know, was for you. Amanda Street 37:07 Absolutely. And just being able to say, hey, you want to find cute clothes, there's clothes in your size. Just go find them and buy them and wear whatever you want. And if you feel uncomfortable wearing it outside, you know, wear it inside. Take photos of yourself. Like wait. Yeah, things that I think that really helped me be like, get rid of my own internalized fat phobia. And you know, being afraid of yourself is probably I feel like one of the worst. Yeah, no fun. That's because you got to be with Melissa Landry 37:43 yourself. Don't be with yourself all live long day. And so, you know, to recap are saying boundary work and experimentation with that boundary work, like having the grace to know that it does take a little bit of trial and error, self respect, clothing, allowing yourself to try on the things that you looks good for you and makes you want to feel good. And then what was the fourth one? I'm forgetting it, I'm drawing a blank and labeling the food voices. Yes, yes, the food voices so be having a skill to be able to uncouple the mean nasty, untrue messages you learn from the real you. So that was sort of your secret sauce. Now this next question, I'm going to ask you, I did send you beforehand, I want people to know that I'm not catching you off guard and this question, but I would be lying if if people didn't wonder about this question and what it's like for you being in a bigger body to work with someone who doesn't have your lived experience? What was it like for you? You know, can you speak a little bit to maybe some of the concerns you felt for that and then won't wind up happening? When we did wind up working together? Amanda Street 38:50 I guess, at the point where I was I was at such a breaking point that I don't even know if it really crossed my mind. Oh, she doesn't know what she's talking about. She's never lived the experience I live in. I'm very much the person where if you're a professional, you've gone and gotten certifications. And that's your specialty. I trust you. You know what you're doing? Yeah, that's kind of a post and I am I definitely felt like with our first call, we are like you said we had that connection, we kicked off right away. If I felt like that wasn't there, maybe I would have had some doubts. But I feel like you do a great job of marketing yourself. Being able to say, Hey, I'm doing this because of my mom. My mom had those experiences and I'm doing this to make sure that people who I love and who I think should not need to suffer through this. Like, I feel like that's something that when you have that level of passion when it personally impacts you doesn't really matter who you are what you're doing. doing less giving not guidance or that help when you have passion and you're able to express that genuinely, I think that it does. Again, it doesn't really matter, you make a connection. And you know what? It works? Do you help me? your posts always helped me. And I don't know if I had any doubts about it, I'm sure on paper would have been like Welsh, how can she know? Well, you do you? You've experienced it secondhand? Which No, no. I mean, if I have my mom was also plus size. But she wasn't always we were both very lanky, little skinny kids. Yeah. And bodies change when you grow up. And her body changed too. And if I saw any of the pain that she if she had experienced any of what I had experienced growing up, that would hurt me and drive me to do something like we were doing as well. So yeah, I think that when you have the surprise and your passion, and you are dedicated to what you do, and you actually have a, again, a genuine, what you want to help people, then I don't really think it matters. who you are. I felt connected to you as a woman, Melissa Landry 41:16 you know, as a girly girl? For sure. Amanda Street 41:19 Yeah, I feel like men have a very different experience than women, sis men, sis women, people who aren't cisgender have a completely different experience. Yeah, I don't know if anyone that would be intimidated by that. Because I have been with my doctors only if I can I have a girl? Melissa Landry 41:35 Yeah, right. And I think that's so true. Like, ultimately, you have to decide like, lived experience is important in your providers, for sure. You know, I think even with certifications and training, your lived experience kind of puts the lens on how you look at the world and problems and how you hear things and clients. So I think your advice is great to say like, what is that feature or that attribute that you might want. And I will say, you know, to folks who are looking at pages like mine, the intuitive meeting space, there are so many straight size providers. There's lots of reasons for that go into that into another another podcast episode. But women in fat bodies are out here doing this work. And if you feel like that's gonna be the most important thing to you, please DM me, I'm happy to send you providers who are in bigger bodies, they're out there. You can search on Instagram, find people who are going to get you to these skills, that's the most important thing. Like, who is going to be the person that actually you can connect with? I think studies show I don't have the exact citation. But that's actually the most important indicator of success is the alliance between the patient and the provider. So if that's not there, yeah, no, it's not happening. So I'm just glad that we aligned with each other. I loved working with you. This felt like old times, I miss seeing you so often. But I can't tell you how proud I am to hear you summarizing all these things that you learned during our time that you're continuing on. And I want to thank you for sharing your thoughts so openly here today, you wanted to make a difference to other people. And I think that I hope that this will Amanda Street 43:09 Yeah, I think that for so long. I've struggled with this. And I feel like it's something that a lot of people struggle with in silence or like suffering kind of quietly and internalizing a lot of things. And it was really scary, being vulnerable about it and opening up to anyone to get help. And I think that by doing that by being able to say you know what, I'm going to just be vulnerable this one time and let it in and just take a leap and see what happens. I was able to do a lot of positive changes and a beautiful for the work we did together. I do miss also seeing you all the time. And I still see you on Instagram. So I'm there. Good to see you. I know you don't see me, but I am here. I'm still doing love knowing that Amanda. Yeah, I think that just being vulnerable about it again, it's still scary for me. But again, like you said I wanted as I reach one person, if anyone feels a similar connection, or has said, Oh yeah, my family said that to me, or Oh, yeah, that guy on the plane was a jerk to me to you know what, you're not alone. And I really felt alone during a lot of my feelings and process. And I've never was, but it took me opening up and just saying I'm just going to take this one chance. And yes, go for it. For me to be able to have that positive results. Yeah, encourage anyone to do that, too. Melissa Landry 44:34 Yeah, I love that. I want to add to that. You also were able to connect with other women in the no more girl community which is our Facebook, private board space and a lot of clients kind of ebb and flow in that space. But I know that was kind of a nice nice thing to to help remind you you weren't alone because people would post similar struggles and symptoms, you would chime in and support other women in that group which always, I think made you feel more affirmed in your product. Because you are someone who really values helping others, so it's just kind of in your bones, baby. Amanda Street 45:04 I know. It's been there, it's been there. And yeah, being able to connect with other women who have shared experiences, it's great. Again, I did feel like I was alone for a lot of things. And being able to have the community was helpful. And then being able to see women struggling with things that I struggled with in the past that have overcome a lot to say, Oh, yeah, I've been there. Here. Let me give you this tip. When you want to wear shorts, wear shorts, just do it. When I'm in the house. Melissa Landry 45:35 are you a cheerleader? Amanda Street 45:37 Yeah, just whenever I could help others, and then whenever I just say like, Guys, listen to this, I just need someone to hear my story and say, girl in there. Yeah, yeah. But you're better not me the difference? Yeah. Melissa Landry 45:54 Well, I think we have covered all of our questions here today. Last kind of final words to anyone who feels like they should lose weight before trying food freedom diet one more time, or to anyone who feels that food freedom just isn't for someone like them? What would your final words be to them? Amanda Street 46:11 I would say, if it's not worked for you in the past, what's gonna say it's gonna work for you in the future. You know, dieting has not worked for me, for my family, for my friends, for anyone in my life. And who doesn't deserve food freedom, who and why? I think that you should be able to enjoy food. I remember feeling guilty about like, being so excited to have my favorite food. Why makes no sense? Let yourself enjoy the food. I was afraid of gaining weight. I was feeling shame that I wanted to lose weight. And I think that that is still sometimes there. But by having intuitive eating and food freedom, I have been able to listen to my body. I've been able to eat what I want to eat and not make myself sick. Sometimes I still do. But then I go, Oh, yeah, well, I'll try again another day, right? And I've been able to my body, I trust my body to tell me you know, hey, if you're doing the right thing, and you're doing what's good for you, if you lose weight, that's what your body wants to do. If you gain weight. That's what your body wants to do. But it's just trusting and listening to yourself. And so I don't think you need to wait to get started again, by weights when you if you've been suffering like me for way too long. Why wait? There's no point in waiting. Yeah. Melissa Landry 47:44 Amanda, thank thank you so much for your time and for sharing your story. I can't wait for this episode to come out and for people to really feel affirmed. They are not alone. You are not alone. And I just wish you all the best up ahead. Thanks so much for being here on the podcast. Amanda Street 47:58 Thank you for listening. Thank you for having me. And I look forward to talking with you in the future. ------- Dalina Soto 48:07 Oh my god. How was your episode? Melissa Landry 48:11 What we missed you I really wish you could have met sweet Amanda. But it was such a great interview, we want to talking a little bit about like some of like the special considerations. When you're in a bigger body? What are some things to look out for and how to navigate all that business? from her perspective, having Dalina Soto 48:27 gone through it? That's so great. I think that there's not enough people talking about this. I feel like intuitive eating doesn't feel safe for people and bigger bodies a lot of the time because of who is talking about it. And who feels comfortable opening up their spaces for people on bigger bodies, right. Like, I think that we're doing our, you know, clients a disservice if we're not out here talking about this. So I'm so excited for everyone to hear that. Melissa Landry 49:00 Yeah. And you'll have to give it a low Listen, because really, I'm just so proud of her. She's wonderful. You know, it is like we get we get a lot out of our time with our clients to like that relationship means a lot to us. So it's really cool to be able to share her story. And it's just a great episode. So we are going to start next week getting into those intuitive eating principles. I hope everyone really enjoyed our little walkthrough of these like, quote, special considerations or things that you might want to think about to really tailor the things that we're going to talk about in the episodes ahead. Dalina Soto 49:31 Guess you're gonna learn so much. And you're just going to be ready to start your journey if you're on the fence. So yeah, that was today's episode, though. Melissa Landry 49:41 We'd love for you to leave a review wherever you found this podcast. And this is going to help us help other women like you looking to heal their relationship with food, find our ship. Oh, we love that. And maybe you'll tell a friend about our podcast. Now this can be a way that you can start Letting people in your life know how you're thinking and learning about intuitive eating as a process. talking to my friends is usually how I find new podcasts and we'd love for you to help us spread our message. Until next time, we'll see you on instant just like we found each other gear up to begin learning the intuitive eating principles next week. Thanks for being here with us and for being who you are. Dalina Soto 50:01 Peace love and break the diet cycle.
