We’re continuing on in our Intuitive Eating Skill series with Principle 4: Challenge the Food Police. In this episode, Registered Dietitian Nutritionists Dalina Soto and Melissa Landry discuss:

  • Where the inner “food police voice” comes from
  • How Intuitive Eating uses cognitive behavioral therapy to shift negative self-talk and food guilt
  • The difference between the self-talk of a  “dieter” and an “intuitive eater”
  • Types of negative thinking to look out for in your food freedom journey.

Episode Resources:

Join the Break the Diet Cycle Podcast Community on Instagram: @break.the.diet.pod

Connect with Melissa on Instagram: @no.more.guilt

Connect with Dalina on Instagram: @your.latina.nutritionist

Listen and subscribe to Break the Diet Cycle on Apple Podcasts

This episode was sponsored by No More Guilt with Melissa Landry. Reminder that though we are dietitians, we’re not *YOUR* dietitian. Podcasts don’t constitute treatment. If you have concerns about your dieting behaviors, seek out guidance from a medical or mental health professional. And if you’re looking for the process, support, and focus you need to live life without food guilt apply for a coaching program from today’s sponsor. No More Guilt with Melissa Landry is currently enrolling clients into 1:1 programs, group programs, and, recently added a do-it-yourself learning format: the Ex-Dieter’s Guide to No More Guilt.

[intuitive eating series] principle 4: challenge the food police transcript

Melissa Landry  0:04  
Hi there, we are experts in intuitive eating for on again off again chronic dieters, and we are here to help you take the guilt and stress out of eating so you can become the first in your family to break the diet cycle, just like we are in our families. We want you to be who you are without food guilt. Be sure to follow us on Instagram. No more guilt for Melissa and your Latina nutritionist for delina Are you ready? Let's break the diet cycle. Hey, it's me Melissa. Before we start, I want to let you know that this episode is brought to you by no more guilt with Melissa Landry. What you're about to listen to is not a professional coaching or counseling session. Each episode is a one time conversation meant for educational purposes. Look, we're dieticians. But we're not your dietician. Remember that podcasts don't constitute treatment. If you have concerns about your dieting behaviors, seek out guidance from a medical or mental health professional. And if you're looking for the process, support and focus you need to live life without food guilt apply for a coaching program from today's sponsor, me. I'm currently enrolling clients into one to one programs group programs and I recently added a do it yourself format the x dieters guide to no more guilt. Apply for a program at Melissa Landry nutrition calm. I hope to meet you soon. We're continuing on today. delina with our intuitive eating skills series. I know that we said satisfaction was our favorite skill. But when I was preparing for this episode, I realized this is kind of my favorite skill. Really? Yes, because self talk is where it's at. challenging the food police is what we're talking about today. Yeah, I know you love yourself some mindset.

Dalina Soto  1:47  
I mean, I do. But you know, I love eating. So I put that in fact, in part, like when you get there and you start eating like satisfying food, I'm like, give me Yum, yum, yum, give me your more.

Melissa Landry  1:58  
And like the experience to me just to play devil's advocate here to me. Without the mindset, you can't get yourself to that beautiful moment of enjoying that food. So that I think is why the authors of intuitive eating place these like skills back to back. And of course, you don't have to follow the skills in like a perfect step ladder sequence. But in writing the book, they tried to present it in a way that helps your mind to step into the outcome. So this episode, we'll talk about mindset and challenging the food police and then our next episode, you can take the lead on your favorite skill, which is satisfaction. Oh, it's a one two punch. So we're going to talk about a few things today. The first is where the inner food police voice comes from that I want to talk a little about why and how challenging that voice is actually a helpful thing to feel your best around food. And we're hoping to give you a few examples. You can start recognizing your own food police voice, and you can shut it down.

Dalina Soto  2:59  
Yes.

Melissa Landry  3:00  
So this is such a big question of where does the food police voice come from? I think a lot of the food policing can come from like marketing and from weight loss programs, like walk down the grocery store aisle and what is written all over the packages. 

Dalina Soto  3:19  
Oh, I have a bunch of them next to me right now. 

Melissa Landry  3:21  
Like guilt free this blah, blah free that everything that we see around our food, especially I would say in the last 10 years is like even restaurants have started to catch on to this language. Like you'll look at a menu and they'll be like the sin free menu. It creates this whole psyche of like, good, bad, legal illegal. There's this whole morality around food that I think has come a lot from the food industry itself, not just the weight loss programs.

Dalina Soto  3:51  
No. And I think it's because they that sells right this like Guilty Pleasures though, because it all stems again from that idea, that perfectionism idea, right? So like, if you're good, you're you're good but then we also have that part of us to have to be full. And so like you can you can like you have these Guilty Pleasures once in a while but not all the time. You know, like

Melissa Landry  4:18  
it is it that's true that there's kind of this like sexy feeling. Sometimes when you're restricting and you're repressing everything that you want all the time then when you do have it there is a thrill and a rush. So people who are selling you something can create need or demand by pulling back and restricting and then giving you the thing that you want, they can also create need or demand by acting as if their foods are somehow more pure, better than other foods. You know, like when we see things let's say like gluten free yogurt. Well, you know what, there wasn't gluten in the yogurt to begin with. So that's okay. Free water gets me gluten free water, and we fall into it you guys like that feeling of like, oh, would you look at that?

Look at that it's free of this thing that I'm assuming is bad. But do I know for sure. So I do think a lot of this inner food police comes from that and it's at least reinforced. And then what happens? our moms learned our aunties learned our friends learn it. And so the repetition of this is everywhere. And so it makes sense if you have some of these inner voices within you that maybe you always hear them, but they're driving a lot of the food guilt that you feel. 

Dalina Soto  5:35  
Yeah, I think that it's it we don't even know it's so subtle. It's such a part of who we are and the culture it's ingrained in our society that we don't even notice it. That's true. I don't notice it until you get angry at it. Yeah, you get angry at all the like, subliminal messages, like for instance, my daughter, to them to the descendants now I know we're late to the game if you wait, what is this isn't like a new This is a Disney movie like Disney movies about the princess descendants, right? So it's called the descendant. So like, they've been beauty daughter and like Belle's son, and like, you know, all of the princesses have their kids at this like Academy and then all of the evil like the evil queens and all the villains are cast it in this aisle of villains, where they live, and whatever. So the movie has to do with like the new king beast and Bella's son is a new thing. And he wants to allow the villain kids to come onto the to the mainland and go to school. So he's like, does it like project where he allowed them? Whatever. So for kids from the villain, so maleficence daughter, evil queens daughter through all of the bills, son, 

Melissa Landry  6:48  
hold on, I'm getting some popcorn. Here we go. Keep going. 

Dalina Soto  6:51  
Our son, they'll come over anyway. There's a song that we heard the other day. From the soundtrack. It's not in the movie. I don't remember it from the movie. But it's called for unfortunate souls. And in the song that was a little mermaid, isn't it? Does it go like poor unfortunate Yeah, so it's Ouma? Who is Ursula, his daughter is singing it. And she talks about the unfortunate souls and she's like, wanting to be thin and popular. And I was like, Oh, now I skip it every time I hear it. And I was like, why do you skip that song? I'm like, I don't like the word.

Melissa Landry  7:32  
This is actually really helpful visual, because I see you with like a remote control, like ready to go.

Dalina Soto  7:38  
Spotify,

Melissa Landry  7:39  
Spotify. Okay, either way, we have you on the skip button. And actually, that's a really good visual skill if you want to use it, because we're going to help you identify negative thinking today. So maybe you just imagine delina coming into your brain and skipping the thought. If that if you if you're having a hard time doing it on your own d'Alene is here for you to skip. So that's amazing. By the way, I'm lucky my watch that despite not having children there. 

Dalina Soto  8:06  
I mean, I got sucked in. So 

Melissa Landry  8:08  
okay, well, thank you for your look at that a little bonus in this episode today. You got like, get like a recap blog from Dalina on the descendents. Alright, so we now have a little bit of understanding of where this food police voice comes from, we can normalize that a lot of us have had these messages seep into our brain over the years from every which direction. What intuitive eating does is it uses cognitive behavioral therapy to actually shift those negative beliefs and thoughts that drive food guilt into something that is more supportive, encouraging and positive in your life. And for any of you out there who have done therapy before, maybe you're an educator, cognitive behavioral therapy is just a way of looking at problems or behaviors and say, Okay, how are the thoughts impacting the emotions or the feelings? And how do those feelings impact what we do? You will remember from last episode talking about peace with food, that sometimes we have behaviors around bad foods that feel really out of control, like really out of control. And that's why we got to go to the root and challenge the thought the food police, otherwise those behaviors are never really going to normalize. 

Dalina Soto  9:28  
And Vanessa does a really good job but discussing how she felt control around food. Yeah. How challenging these thoughts allow her to like make peace. Yeah.

Melissa Landry  9:39  
So when we think about that experience, you can work on the behaviors themselves, right? That might mean you know, slowing yourself down practicing noticing the flavors. Next episode, we'll talk a little bit more about that with satisfaction and sometimes with clients. I'm working with them to say like Okay, do we want to take it from the satisfaction lens or do we want to take it from the The mindset and the challenge the food police lens, do we want to do a little bit of both. But just to kind of give you a sense of the framework, because you know, we're not going to walk you through the whole kit and caboodle here. But we can give you some sense of how to think about this as a problem. I always say these really weird phrases like, do you know what kitten caboodle is? I mean, you know that I get stuck in some of your phrases I had, I just say weird stuff. Like, I'm like a 90 year old woman, like, I'm pretty sure that we're if anyone knows where kitten caboodle came from, please message me. I don't know, when I learned that. I think it just means like the whole thing?

Dalina Soto  10:36  
I don't know. I don't know. Just try to try to understand

Melissa Landry  10:38  
me. Okay. So when we think about this idea that we were through this principle, we're going to try to observe our thoughts and figure out which ones aren't working for us, there is a very clear difference between the self talk of a dieter and the self talk of an intuitive eater. And the reason I love this principle is because it gives a label and a personality to all the many little voices that can come up within us. And for me, I just love imagining these voices as little people and like having these conversations, it can be really empowering to not feel like you're just having random racing thoughts, but instead say, okay, that's the food police skip, like Dalina does on the descendents. Oh, that's the diet rebel voice. That's the voice that's coming out to protect me. When the food police is trying to take my Yeah, autonomy around food. When you're working with clients and like, kind of listening to their self talk. What would you say is the biggest difference between a diet or an intuitive eater? Like, how do you tell the difference?

Dalina Soto  11:44  
I love that you're bringing these up? because anybody that's like listening that worked with me, I don't really name them these things. Have my clients name them a name of someone they very much just like, yep, so you can. 

Melissa Landry  11:57  
I am someone who calls it odd ruthless, that's her voice on ruthless

Dalina Soto  12:02  
beam, the tiny voice in their head, someone that they really can tell to eff off whatever they like. So they they have no problem saying go eff off. And so it's funny, because they'll usually messaged me, like I told blah, blah, blah, to eff off today. And I'm like, Yes, do that. And like I egging them on to tell them to go f themselves. But a dieter, I think, you know, the difference is that like a diet or gets angry, was in it kind of like, just doesn't know how to react to it, as an intuitive eater can step back, more compassionate face and ask, like, why am I feeling this way, as opposed to judging themselves are feeling this way? Right. So it's like, it's like, kind of like, an out of body experience? If that makes any sense, right? It does. Yeah, you're able to disconnect that disconnect, but you're able to look at the feeling space, or make space for that feeling. Exactly. Great word. make space for the feeling and be compassionate and question feeling. You're not being so like, mean to yourself, right? Yeah. And, and problem solve in the moment as like a diet or just tells themselves, you're just a horrible person, you should, why are you doing this? You might as well just like eff this and just like, eat everything and anything and just kind of like, pull in it. Yeah, who did something beautiful description, 

Melissa Landry  13:28  
and it comes back to the cognitive behavioral piece where like, the thoughts you have dictate the feelings dictate the behaviors. So you can tell if you're in diet mindset, or you have the self talk of a diet, or if you feel resentment, frustration, guilt, fear, if there is negative emotion surrounding food, probably, there's a root thought that's driving that feeling. On the flip side, what's possible, is feeling empowered, contented, neutral, confident, calm. Those are some of the emotions that connect with intuitive eating mindset, or the self talk of intuitive eaters. And if anyone listening is like, Ooh, that sounds good. I've never felt that before. I would tend to venture You are a diet.

Dalina Soto  14:11  
Yeah. Or still have dire thoughts because you haven't fully embraced making peace with food, and telling the food police to eff off. Yeah.

Melissa Landry  14:21  
What this principle really does a nice job of is, I think showing examples of not just sending the thought away, but also doing what's called cognitive restructuring. And that's just a fancy way of saying when you talk back to that thought you are molding and shaping it so that it automatically comes back as something new. So rather than imagining it, like a game of ping pong that never ends where your your brains like, you shouldn't eat pizza and you're like, go away. You shouldn't eat pizza go away. That can be helpful, but over time coming up with encouraging voices that actually say like, okay, pizza is is a choice of food I get to make? How does that pizza make me feel what I like that pizza right now. And having that be the initial automatic thought is possible if you continue to practice challenging the food police using some of the inner voices that the intuitive eating process offers you. So, couple different layers couple different ways of approaching it. But I think that's exciting that you can reprogram, it's like downloading a new operating system. When your computer's like, do you want to update like, yeah, you can update your brain as you can. 

Dalina Soto  15:31  
It's, like I said in the last episode, eating with intention and connection. And Evelyn taught me that in that group. 

Melissa Landry  15:38  
It's amazing. It's amazing. So ultimately, this principle gives you the skills to identify when the food police is coming around, you can either hear it in the words in your mind, or you can notice it and how you feel resentment, guilt, fear, all that. It also helps you to look at negative thinking overall, I wrote down some of the different styles of negative thinking that you might want to look out for in your food freedom journey. I think these thoughts apply to the food themselves, like the good bad labeling of food, but also applies to the process and our belief in ourselves that this is going to work out. And that you are the kind of person who can become an intuitive eater. So this type of thinking is worth addressing. Otherwise, what happens is, and I see this all the time, I know you do, too, where people get started all gung ho with intuitive eating, they have one negative experience and they say, I can't do it, I guess I quit. We don't want you to do that. Because doing that means you can't learn and experiment, which is what this process requires. That's what life requires.

Dalina Soto  16:40  
Oh, for sure.

Melissa Landry  16:41  
I mean, please trust me, I wish someone would give me a freakin manual, how to crush every single thing I do feel that I could win. Always, that would be lovely. But it's not real. That's not

Dalina Soto  16:51  
before the call, yes. You don't

Melissa Landry  16:54  
always just get to show up and like get a 10 out of 10 every single time. Sometimes you get a three out of a 10 or one out of 10. Sometimes you're using a totally different scoring system, and no one told you it's a word. Any of you who really feel like in other aspects of your life, you're able to step into situations and come into it figure things out quickly. succeed. problem solve. It can be really hard when you try this stuff with eating, which many people perceive is like, I mean, how basic Why can't I get this right? They A lot of people have that belief. If you're so used to crushing it everywhere else in your life, and you're not doing it here. You might not have a lot of practice, you know, being imperfect at something. This is a good time to try. This is a good time to start because having that learning mindset is the difference between figuring this out or staying stuck. 

Dalina Soto  17:47  
Yeah. And I think it's such a, it is such a rough time, especially when things have come like you said so easily for you in the past, or even when dialing seems to have been so easy for you in the past. If there's some people that are like, but it's always worked for me, like had someone comment that on my comment yesterday, I'm like, good for you. It worked for you. But this page isn't about that. Sorry, this page is to show other people that there's another way, you know, yeah. 

Melissa Landry  18:15  
And that experience is kind of confusing, because yeah, diets there, there can be a really quick win in the beginning like, oh, wow, like Check, check, check, I ate it all the times that told me to or eighth approved foods the way it told me to or like a little bit of weight came off the reward of the diet, if ever and if any, is at the very beginning of the diet. But over time those rewards start to dwindle, the learning doesn't stick. With intuitive eating, there aren't often quick wins right out the gate.

Dalina Soto  18:46  
Nope.

Melissa Landry  18:47  
And so over time that grows and the rewards deepen and stay really important that you normalize that but that doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you that you're never going to get it. Let's talk about these different styles and negative thinking so that you all can identify them more quickly. And remember, Melissa and Dalina said this is normal. 

Dalina Soto  19:08  
Okay, I say one of my favorite one because my if you look at my sticky note, I'm going to show Melissa the first one at the top says stop catastrophizing. This is all my therapist has me repeating all this. 

Melissa Landry  19:19  
Oh Dalina. I love you. This is your tendency. So catastrophic thinking. Let me define it. And then I'm going to have you speak on it since you're apparently the expert. catastrophic thinking is when something happens and your brain automatically without your permission amplifies that thing to mean, the very worst possible thing has happened. So I'm going to give you an example of how it might show up in the intuitive eating realm. And then we can kind of check this one out. So let's say you have a negative body image day, you go to put on a pair of shorts, they don't fit anymore. You're standing there looking in the mirror and you think to yourself, I'm never like my body. This is hopeless. I'm never gonna get a partner. I'm not going to be able to get a promotion. I'm never going to be able to climb a mountain, I'm never going to be able to travel, your brain starts listing out, all these terrible things are going to happen, when really all it happened was that your shorts don't fit. 

Dalina Soto  20:11  
That's right. My brain does that all the time. 

Melissa Landry  20:14  
It hurts, doesn't it? It really hurts when your brain does to you. It's very sad feeling 

Dalina Soto  20:18  
it causes you to go into like some very deep thoughts that are not the best. And you just kind of have to like, tell yourself like, stop. Yeah. But as someone whose brain is constantly doing this, it really takes work and energy. It's kind of like reel it back in, which is the other one that's on here says reel it in. 

Melissa Landry  20:40  
That's the exact move to remember. So if you're like, oh, haha, that's me. Everybody does this to some extent. You know, I think one thing I want to say is we don't want to like label or judge anyone for these thoughts like human brains work in this way. The reason we can write it down and talk about it is because this is a pretty universal pattern of thinking. What happens is, is there's different degrees of expression of this. So some people do it in, in kind of a light touch infrequent way, it doesn't really impact their lives. Some people do it all the time, constantly in an amplified way. And that's where we get into spaces where like therapy might be worthwhile as a complement to the intuitive eating journey. If you generally struggle with this stuff. But Dalina you're spot on like catastrophic thinking requires that you one notice it, you to step back and create some kind of pause rooted in Hmm. And notice what's happening in front of you. If it's the shorts not fitting cope with that. Do not borrow trouble from tomorrow? 

Dalina Soto  21:39  
Listen, I feel with this, I get it. It's, it's hard. It's hard. But I mean, if you're able to put a word to it, it's a lot easier. 

Melissa Landry  21:49  
Yeah, takes that pressure off, and it helps you to come back till the moment you're in.

Dalina Soto  21:53  
Yes.

Melissa Landry  21:54  
Okay. So catastrophic thinking is one type of negative thinking, I'm going to pick the next one to talk about black and white, that's my negative thinking drug of choice. Black and White thinking is when you tend to see things as on or off good or bad, always, never success or failure. This comes a lot of times, when you have a lot of expectations on yourself and high expectations on yourself. I am someone where like, let's say I go, I don't know, hang out with a friend. And it wasn't quite what I was expecting. My brain will be like, ah, see, like, we're getting older or friendships are changing. And everything's and I can be a little bit black or white about around that. And that can creep into catastrophic thinking. So sometimes this thinking is happening simultaneously. It's not always identifiable. Sometimes you can point it towards yourself, like, Oh, my gosh, I said kitten caboodle on a podcast. And it wasn't a phrase that anybody understood. I'm never going to be an eloquent speaker. I never say the right thing on the podcast, which isn't true. I bet. If we look in there are times when there are things that I say that makes sense. So if you're doing black and white thinking your job here is to find an exception to the rule. And also let yourself live in the gray. So if you're saying like, either I'm eating vegetables every day, or I'm a failure, Mm hmm. If I eat vegetables most of the time, that would be success for me. Or if I eat vegetables more often, you can loosen it just a little bit in that way. 

Dalina Soto  23:37  
And I think that that's the beauty of intuitive eating and sleep living in the gray living in the nuance, making up your own damn rules. 

Melissa Landry  23:46  
One moment does not make the whole story. One experience one success, one mistake. We're collecting data all the time in our lives, and especially in this process. And so if you can resist the urge to label or judge whether it's going good or bad, this is a really important skill and directly links back to that food policing that goes

Dalina Soto  24:09  
on. Yep.

Melissa Landry  24:11  
Which one should we talk about next?

Dalina Soto  24:18  
Okay, but the good or the bad things before I go to the good things? What could go wrong? What is going wrong?

Melissa Landry  24:27  
The example I had kind of to depict this one was saying like, Oh, I had such a bad week. How many calls have started that way? Oh my gosh, oh wait clients until I have such a bad week and I go, Okay, well, let's take a step back. Tell me about something that you remember going well, and they're able to list it. Well, actually, and then all of a sudden we're seeing it wasn't a bad week. There was a couple of things that didn't go your way. Having this mindset of like I can build on it I can learn is so critical, even if things are uncomfortable or feeling negative. It's not the end of the story. So resist a pessimistic thinking if you find it. 

Dalina Soto  25:04  
And I think this is why human connection is so important, but because we have these thoughts with ourselves in our head, saying them out loud to another human being, you actually catch yourself being like, Oh, wait, that wasn't as bad as I thought. Yeah, right. So like going on this journey by yourself, can be so hard. But nothing someone, a group of people, a person, anyone that you can talk to about this make the world of difference, 

Melissa Landry  25:34  
You need a sounding board? Yeah, it's a way of validating these negative thoughts. Because remember, we can't restructure them, if we're only having a conversation with ourselves in the old language. Yeah, I wouldn't. How would it happen? Like, if there's no way it could, you know, it's like, trying to like bake a cake without an oven like this is the fundamental piece of cognitive restructuring is dialogue,

Dalina Soto  25:58  
if you can get all the ingredients going, right. But you can't actually bake it right and make it happen knowledge, the thought, you can work on this, but you're always going to have more questions you're always going to want, you're always going to need someone to bounce things from, right, because there's again, that fast greatness that you're not going to be able to do all by yourself.

Melissa Landry  26:20  
And I think the other added benefit of I don't know having a sounding board or someone who knows you is that when someone knows you and knows what you're about, they understand what you care about and what your values are, Dalina and I support each other in our businesses all the time. And when we talk about things like we know, you know, what I care about, I know what you care about. And when we respond to each other. It's like, Okay, well for you in your life, this is what might make sense for you. And that's the other part where people want to go on Instagram and try to like glean as much as they can. But the tailoring of it to you and your values is not going to happen from a textbook or from scrolling, it's going to happen when you are vulnerable to share who you are and what you care about. Because how you approach this principle might be different than the person next to you.

Dalina Soto  27:10  
Yes, for sure.

Melissa Landry  27:12  
We're allowed, we're allowed to care about different things and prioritize different things. So a good example is like, with like, good, or with the black and white thinking, we mentioned a while ago, that's built off expectations, and you're allowed to have expectations. So if I'm experiencing black on my thinking, like I did a bad job if I eat pizza. And maybe I have a health concern, where I do want to consider how I'm going to approach pizza. Maybe I want to have an expectation of how I consume it against my values and goals for physical health. That could be very different from someone else. So there is no, it's almost like I'm trying to prevent you from turning this into a new expectation. Like, okay, I'm going to think positively. And I'm going to think this exact way like they're talking about, and that's going to be the new good. No, no, no, no, no. We're pointing this out simply so you can notice when it's happening and come up with positive thinking that does serve you and point you toward the intuitive eating mindset. So you can feel better. Yep. All right, we got another one here called distorted thinking. I hear this all the time to clients will come to session and they say, Oh, you know, I eat I mean, pizza makes me feel terrible. Every time I eat pizza. I get so bloated, and I just shouldn't eat it anymore. And like helped me to listen to my body, Melissa, because I am. It's telling me, it's telling me I hate pizza. Why do I keep eating pizza? Pizza might be connected to those feelings of having. But to immediately jump to the pizzas causing it and the only way to get rid of it. The experience of having is to never eat pizza again, might not be the right move. Instead looking at it saying, Okay, I'm a salt sensitive person. I noticed that when I eat salty foods, I tend to feel this way. What would be a way of including pizza while honoring that feeling in me? Does that mean eating a little bit less of it eating it less often? Does it mean working with the symptoms when it happens? Because what was more important was having fun with your kids after it for dinner. There's so many different directions you can take the data your body gives you and when you start having distorted thinking, you can't find the gray areas of what could make sense for you. Do you have clients with that to where they're like help me listen to my body better? Oh, but it gets distorted. 

Dalina Soto  29:34  
I was like why are you doing something that makes you feel like crap? Right like this idea and also I feel like pizza is one of those foods that it depends on where you get it from like you could definitely get it from a place where uses fresher ingredients less salt, whatever or you can have fun and have pigs night with your kid and make your own like there's so many ways to enjoy pizza without having the all or nothing mentality and oh This distorted thinking of that actual dish, right. But again, it goes back to this idea that we, that we need to be perfect. And that we, if we're going to eat pizza, that it must always be good. Or this idea that everybody needs to love pizza to like that you have to absolutely love it. Because if you don't, then you're dieting. That's something else we need to talk about. If you truly don't enjoy pizza, you're not being a diet or if you don't like it, right, right.

Melissa Landry  30:26  
 It's not the behavior that people are judging. It's the intent, and the relationship behind what you're doing that really matters most. And as we were talking, I was just, it's kind of flashed into my mind that the distorted thinking is what kind of can happen on Instagram, when people push back on intuitive eating, like, Oh, so you're saying to eat pizza and doughnuts all the time? Like, I want to feel good, like, that's fine for other people if they don't care about their health, but I do. And I don't want to eat pizza all the time. And it's like, whoa, whoa, this is getting distorted. This is getting blown out of proportion here, you know, permission to eat pizza, and a moment of satisfaction. enjoyment, oh, pizza, does not mean that you then fall into a path where that's the only food you consume forever, always. So yeah, oh, stuff can get exhausting. But the joy of it is, if you can identify when it's happening. If you can label it, you can either send it back in or you can restructure it. And that is why I love this skill, it gives me a ton of hope that we can get to the root of the food guilt we experience. 

Dalina Soto  31:30  
And it doesn't just end at one session. 

Melissa Landry  31:35  
One conversation will truly like sometimes excavating some of these things and these beliefs does take some time. You know, I've had clients I've worked with three, six months there with the tail end of our work, we think we've kind of found all of these different food rules and these negative thinking and then all of a sudden we're like, oh, there it is. Okay, and you can keep deepening this, if you know the skill, right? That's the beauty of this whole thing and why it's different than diets. Yeah. You know how to do this. And when you learn it, it's with you for always so it's an amazing investment to take time to learn these skills to connect with people who can bounce back and who know you. Well, have I convinced you Is this your favorite skill yet? Are you still on satisfaction? I'm still on Saturday. Okay, all right. You know what? I'm not here to convince Forget it, whatever. What can we do? I like talking about this at any rate, and I hope it was helpful for you guys out there. With this episode, maybe there's one idea that you really like with these principles. I encourage you we talk about a lot of different things. Pick one thing pick one idea that sounds really interesting to you. I have a freebie on my website and my link bio at no more guilt that you can use to create goals. Julian Do you have what's going on with your freebies lately? Do you have that intuitive eating guide?

Dalina Soto  32:52  
I have a guide it's almost like a mini workbook now Okay, there's a few questions in there I can go through kind of like challenge these things. But yeah, so

Melissa Landry  33:02  
if that's a nice compliment for you all out there listening to this to get a little pen and paper to scratch this out both Dalina and I have resources we'd love for you to check them out. I think that's a wrap on principle four challenge the food police Brava that is all folks. That's all till next time. If you like this episode, we would love to get a review from you. We love seeing them. It helps us to refine and make this podcast even stronger. You can go ahead and do that rate five stars and let us know what you're liking up there.

Dalina Soto  33:33  
Yes, and if you love love listening to us and want to follow us on Igy where we found each other Go ahead, find us there. And yeah, we'll see you there. Alright, Salina peace, love and break the diet cycle.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai