In today’s episode, we interview Steph, Melissa’s former client, about her journey learning Intuitive Eating. Steph shares her “dieting story” and why she decided to pursue Intuitive Eating. We explore what it was like for her to be a new Mom and some of the unique challenges she faced around food and body image: including the pressure she felt to “bounce back”.
What did you think of today’s episode? DM us on Instagram your reaction to this one! We love sharing different stories to help you feel inspired in your Intuitive Eating journey!
Steph leaned on Melissa’s 1:1 program, which is accepting new clients.
Join the Break the Diet Cycle Podcast Community in Instagram: @break.the.diet.pod
Connect with Melissa on Instagram: @no.more.guilt
Connect with Dalina on Instagram: @your.latina.nutritionist
This episode was sponsored by No More Guilt with Melissa Landry. Reminder that though we are dietitians, we’re not *YOUR* dietitian. Podcasts don’t constitute treatment. If you have concerns about your dieting behaviors, seek out guidance from a medical or mental health professional. And if you’re looking for the process, support, and focus you need to live life without food guilt apply for a coaching program from today’s sponsor. No More Guilt with Melissa Landry is currently enrolling clients into 1:1 programs, group programs, and, recently added a do-it-yourself learning format: the Ex-Dieter’s Guide to No More Guilt.
intuitive eating tips for new moms with steph p. (melissa’s former client) transcript
Dalina Soto 0:02 Hola hola chulas Melissa Landry 0:04 Hi there. We are experts in intuitive eating for on again off again chronic dieters, and we are here to help you take the guilt and stress out of eating so you can become the first in your family to break the diet cycle, just like we are in our families. Dalina Soto 0:19 We want you to be who you are without food guilt. Melissa Landry 0:22 Be sure to follow us on Instagram. No more guilt for Melissa and your Latina nutritionist for Dalina. Dalina Soto 0:29 Are you ready? Let's break the diet cycle. But not to laugh. It's me that Lena before we start I want to let you know that this episode is brought to you by your Latina nutrition. What you're about to listen to is not a professional coaching or counseling session. Each episode is a one time conversation meant for educational purposes. We are dieticians. But we're not your dietician. Remember that podcasts don't constitute treatment. If you have concerns about your diet and behaviors, seek out guidance from a medical or mental health professional. And if you're looking for community schools to ditch the diet, help with finding authentic health and keeping your culture alive. Join my membership brought to you by today's sponsor, me. Melissa Landry 1:16 Before we start, have we told you lately how much we appreciate you. We appreciate that so many of you are out there breaking the bonds of generational diet trauma. By opening your minds and learning with us. It really means something you know. And Lena and I created this podcast because our mission is to break the diet cycle for the next generation. And we know that can't happen without you. That's why if you found benefit from this podcast, we really want you to review and rate us, you know, someone just like you is feeling really lost right now. And by rating and reviewing the podcast, you make it more likely that she's going to find the information she needs just like you did to break free from the diet cycle. Will you chip in with us and rate or review the podcast today. It is always a special moment when we can bring in a former client from either one of me or dilemmas programs we appreciate so much because like many of you, the people we bring on our podcast, the folks we worked with felt just like you at one point, they weren't sure if Intuitive Eating would be the right move for them. They weren't sure what it would be like to stop using extreme dieting practices, beating themselves up food, guilt, shame, all the things you're used to using to motivate yourself. They were worried about it too. And so I'm always very excited to share their stories because not only do you learn from their example, you also learn how they made that decision to finally take the leap of faith on this whole new model of intuitive eating. For all a lot of you this is radically different than what you were praised for maybe even starting as a little kid, or what you were prescribed from doctors and others. And so I can't wait for you to hear Steph's story so that you can understand what it's really like to go through that transformative process of breaking the diet cycle. So let's jump in and hear a little bit from Steph. We have a very special guest with us today to talk about something I know many people face after they've had a child, which is this idea that your body must bounce back in order for you to feel like you're doing a good job in your postpartum life. And so today, I'm thrilled to invite Steph who is a former client of mine to talk a little bit about her experience. Before we jump in on this conversation today. Steph, welcome. Can you tell us a little bit about yourself? Hi, my Steph 3:36 Hi my name is Steph. I'm a teacher and my son is seven months old as of Sunday. Very exciting. Yes. So he'll be one in August. So I'm seven months postpartum officially and actually before if since our focus is gonna be on the postpartum journey. So before I delivered Ryan so he was due September 3, I ended up having a C section August 6, because I was diagnosed with preeclampsia and there were some things I knew about that but I I know a little bit more now and I think that you know there's a lot that happened during postpartum that I was didn't really have a lot of information on wasn't educated on it really influenced and drove my story with dieting and intuitive eating Melissa Landry 4:21 Yeah, I remember when we first met on Discovery call you had Ryan there with you and I was just so impressed with you because you were like I've got a lot going on right now but I know that this struggle is not something I need to carry additional to everything else that I'm going through as a new mom so I really admired that about you. Steph 4:39 Yeah Even pregnancy you know tested a lot of my dieting beliefs anyway, because it was inevitable I was gonna gain weight no matter what I did, but it's the postpartum that really like, Oh, I like for some people. Yeah, they do lose it quickly. And sometimes you don't. Melissa Landry 4:52 Well, Dalina like I don't know how you felt when you were pregnant. But I always hear people say like you're quote, supposed to get bigger when you're pregnant and So some of the body image stuff doesn't feel as intense during that time. But as soon as the baby's born, then it all comes flooding back. Did you guys both deal with that? Or what are you? What are your thoughts on that? Steph 5:11 I definitely dealt with some body image stuff while I was pregnant just because it was inevitable. And I had a hard time accepting that. Dalina Soto 5:17 Yeah, yeah. And I was gonna say that I think a lot of my clients and even people in my personal life definitely struggled with that part of like, they know that the weight gain is inevitable, but their brain and they're like, it's like their brain and their emotions, don't click right. Like, they just, you know, it has to happen. But you still are so afraid of that number changing. And honestly, OBGYN and like just the medical system and go into the doctor's does not make it any better. Because they're always weighing you. They're always talking about your weight, whether it's good or bad. Not enough, too much. Like there's, you know, always there's never just you never just feel, at least I don't know about you, Stephanie, but like my experience was never one that was comfortable going to the OBGYN because there was talk though, it didn't matter what it was, it was either talk of like, you're not gaining enough. You're not doing this, you're or you're doing too much, or like it was always like the bad and never like the good. Steph 6:15 Yeah, not even just about weight, weight gain. But in general, they want to make sure that they're telling you all of the bad stuffs to protect themselves. But my personal experience, it was after I had Ryan, that was the first time that you had a comment, like, oh, you lost weight. And my response, and I didn't even realize the effect it would have. But I'm just like, Well, yeah, I was running a marathon. And I didn't have time to eat. And I think my doctor was startled. And I didn't mean it as like a jab. But I think that's how she took it. Melissa Landry 6:42 Right? Well, yeah, we kind of get this It stings. And sometimes our first reaction is to kind of be sarcastic or push back a little. Because it, it can feel shocking to hear those those comments in that moment. So Steph, let's kind of kind of go back in time. Let's hit rewind a little bit here. So prior to having your son, tell us a little bit about your history with dieting. Steph 7:05 For me, it started when I was in high school, I just end it. Like I just feel like you know, people were always starting at least the people closest to me, I just felt like I just internalized a lot of diet talk and subconsciously like even though I wasn't clinically overweight at the time, it just like I was constantly dieting. I was like, so I wasn't like I was still eating enough. But like, if I had something with too much calories, I would run on the treadmill and I have bad knees because I was like over exercising. And some people think like, Oh, you have bad knees, you need to lose weight. And like no, I got the bad news when I was 10. And I was Yeah, I got the bad knees when I was in the midst of an eating disorder and had no idea. Melissa Landry 7:51 Yeah, that's such a great point, right? Like, someone messaged me the other day about the news that has come out about the number of steps per day and the 10,000 is sort of arbitrary. I forget the exact number delete, I think it's either six or 7000 are actually found to be like, yeah, the max benefit. And if you do more than that, you're not actually getting more and I only bring this up now. Because it's like that mentality of like, just keep running, running, moving, moving, moving, it's healthier. But you're bringing up a great point, like we can hurt ourselves other ways physically through over exercise. So that sounds like it was part of your story before the postpartum stuff came up. Steph 8:26 Yeah. And, you know, as time went on, eventually, like, I think from just not dealing with it, and because I was doing things that was considerably socially acceptable, like, it was overlooked by a lot of people, including professionals, because I just presented myself really well. And I seemed really eager, and I seemed like the good student. So those are usually the types that get overlooked. Melissa Landry 8:50 100% Thank you for saying that. Because you're right, like I talked about this on my page a lot like people get prescribed and praised for weight loss behaviors when they are in bigger bodies. And if we saw and sometimes not, we just had another guest on like, like you're saying to like, sometimes it's not even that you're in a bigger body. People just think that that's the good and right way to be. And I would ask us a little question that you know that that isn't necessarily a healthy thing to be pursuing that. You don't know. Yeah. Steph 9:17 I feel like a lot of my weight gain was in college, and I'm starting to hate the term the freshman 15. Because really, I think it's a lot of eating disorders just as a result of not dealing with them in the past. And that's because people are breaking away from their families. That's when a lot of that stuff starts coming up. Melissa Landry 9:33 Right, right. Like food rebellion or restriction, alcohol. There's all sorts of stuff that comes up in college for people that maybe wasn't happening back at home when they were younger. Yeah, you know, before you became pregnant, and you had your son was intuitive eating on your radar. Like, when did you make that choice? Steph 9:52 Oh, so intuitive eating was on my radar when I was pregnant. And yeah, because it was one of those like, I don't have like, I'm gonna gain weight no matter what, like I like and I got comfortable eating whatever I wanted, even though my brain was, was telling me like, oh, once you have Ryan, you have to go back to your old ways, but I just was not feeling and I liked being able to have whatever I wanted, but I still had that internal struggle. Melissa Landry 10:18 Yeah. So tell me about the struggle What was that like? Steph 10:22 So two my friends are getting married, and I was getting fitted for bridesmaid dresses. And I was at the time two months postpartum. And I was just, you know, I started to get hung up in the numbers, and a lot of my old thinking came back. But at the same time, I knew that this diet stuff wasn't working, but I was still having body image issues. And then lo and behold, like, I happened to go on Instagram, Melissa and, and your Instagram popped up right in front of me. And that was it for me. Melissa Landry 10:53 Sometimes it's just that right message at the right time. And for a lot of our clients that it's just you know, that that's the time to start working on it. Even though you've been watching it that it sounds like that experience with like the bridesmaids dresses made it feel a little bit more tense and a little more real for you. And that's okay. Okay. So when you came into coaching, what were you hoping for out of that? Because you know, you here's someone you had a ton of awareness, I thought coming in, you were like, lol, I get the diets don't work. I'm looking back at those college years. I definitely don't want to go back to that, again. You had your son, you were feeling all these ways? What was it that you were hoping coaching would support you with? Steph 11:32 I just just feel more at peace with my body image because it's always been at the forefront of my mind. I mean, it still is, and it's still a struggle. But I felt like I've tried in the past, whether it was through dieting, or I even tried coaches, but it never really felt satisfying, because the people around me, I just felt didn't get it. And because sometimes I work with people who maybe they've never struggled with body image, or they've always had what's considered a healthy weight. Melissa Landry 12:00 It's a specific experience that you are going through and like you're saying, specifically, like a doctor, like there's different things that maybe weren't accounted for in other spaces for you. Yeah, when we got started, we definitely did a little bit of work on food guilt. But you're right, that body image was a main focus of our time together. Yeah. What do you remember from like, takeaways from that time that really helped you to shift your attitude toward yourself. Steph 12:26 It helped. So it helps me with my coping skills, I think like, not that this stuff is gonna go away. But I just learned how to deal with it better. And I have other outlets and other tools that are healthier, and I can not regret my food choices. Now. Even when I am in that space. It's like, I can look back and say, Nope, I don't regret it because it came from me. And it didn't come from outside influences. I didn't lose something out of obligation. Melissa Landry 12:56 Yes, that authenticity entity. And I have to tell you, Steph, secret talent is making playlists and curating beautiful like she is the most organized person ever. And part of the thing I loved about. Steph 13:08 Well, I'm glad I come across that way, because sometimes I don't feel I'm glad that's how you see me. Melissa Landry 13:15 Well I mean, honestly, I'm switching from Apple podcasts over to Spotify lately. I don't know why. And I'm there's a camp, there's Apple people and their Spotify people. And I understand Spotify is better for playlists. Does anyone agree with us here? Steph 13:28 Yeah, I actually don't have Spotify. But Apple like I was my frustration is I couldn't make my own playlists. So I went rogue and I have Amazon where they do have the ones that made for me, but then I can make my own if I want to. Dalina Soto 13:41 Yes, I can. I'm confused. You can make playlists. What does it mean? Like you can you can make podcast playlists. Melissa Landry 13:47 Oh, music playlist. I'm just saying I switched over to Spotify, because? Yeah. Yeah. How do you make playlists? Dalina Soto 13:56 Yeah, Melissa Landry 13:57 it's a hobby I want to get into. We should make a playlist for the BTDC community be cool. Okay, put that down. Put that on the notes board. We'll follow up on that later. Dalina Soto 14:06 You can put it in the notes. I'm not gonna remember this because Melissa Landry 14:12 that's clear. And we need your creativity, though. We're gonna get some reggaeton on there. Anyways, I digress. I digress. So for you focusing on the body image part. I mean, I think you were so wise to know that because many people might put that off and say like, that's too heavy, that's too hard. But for you, that was sort of the piece that allowed you to feel more authentic, and also make it that your relationship with foods sort of settled into place naturally. So that was your strategy during our coaching Steph 14:43 I think but in a part of it is like I've always known for years that this was BS and it was just nice to have confirmation from other people. Melissa Landry 14:50 Yeah. And in our community to like you had our coaching calls, but then we had also our space where we could kind of hear from other people's stories together. I have to ask you this because of course there's positives to intuitive eating. But as Selena always says, it's not all unicorns and rainbows. What would you say was the biggest challenge? And then how did you work through that? What was your biggest challenge through our time together? Steph 15:13 I think just getting rid of a lot of the Diet Rules That are always talked about yet and just fine. And I think finding something that worked for me, and I think with diets in the past, like, I never felt like it was really for me. And then I was just, you know, doomed for failure. But I think it's like, oh, I finally have room to be creative. And like, lacking that structure was a little hardening in the beginning, just hardening the beginning, because I'm just so used to the structure. And it's like, oh, I can have what I want. And we'll be okay. Like, flexibility? Melissa Landry 15:44 Yeah, especially if you've done programs in the past, people are really used to like, you basically come into a weight loss program and like, Okay, here's the plan. We're gonna start tracking every day, we're gonna, you know, like, there's a digital list of things to do, which Steph 15:56 is an accountability, buddy, they always encourage the economy. Oh, yes. Melissa Landry 16:00 That's a good point, too. Right. Like your accountability, buddy, right? There's a whole term accountability. Dalina Soto 16:05 I can't even say that accountability, buddy. But I think if I can interject here, I think that, Melissa, that's what we provide, right? Like, because diets, like you say, Stephanie provide so much of that, like, accountability, that sometimes when you go into intuitive eating, it feels like you're not so us being able to provide these communities, I think does allow you to have not accountability, because I hate that word. Because people use it in such a diety way. But literally just unity to just come in and be like, Yeah, I'm having a crap B day like, I you know, I just think about, like, the things that happen in my in my membership and people talking about, like, you know, they had a hard day at going to the doctor's and, you know, they try to stand up for themselves and they couldn't get it everybody comes in and it's like it's okay, next time try this and that, you know what I mean? Like, it's just that community. So it's not accountability, but it is what is there another word, Melissa Landry 17:00 but it is accountability. I should Dalina Soto 17:03 emphasize there you go. Melissa Landry 17:06 accountable to like, when you're in a diet program when accountability means sticking to that plan, no matter what like, like accountability, Buddy is saying, like, Did you log your calories? Even though you were exhausted today? Did you skip dessert? Even though you wanted it? Did you work out even though you were tired? So like that's why accountability feels like shit, because it's always linked to like overriding Yeah, yourself. Yeah. I think we do offer accountability. But it's to that compassion and empathy, like Yes. Did you listen to your Yeah, Steph 17:34 I think that was just a shift to me. Like, I don't have that accountability, or like, it's really disguised as a food police. And then now it's just like, trusting myself. Melissa Landry 17:44 Yeah, that's where dietitians are often like, not all of us are the food police. Some of us might be but yeah, like you kind of get close to a dietician or a program and you're like, oh, no, I'm gonna have to be accountable to someone that can send up some red flags, because it was traumatic in the past to be accountable. So that's not lost on us. If you're feeling like some kind of way, taking the leap into a program. I get it. And I'm here to tell you, you ain't aren't getting that treatment. Again. That's the past, in the intuitive eating world. In our world, what would you say was most surprising about your progress in the program? Steph 18:19 Well, I know I've talked about the see you, Melissa, I think, you know, I expected that. I was like, Oh, it's okay to have a dessert. That part I I accepted would happen. But part like some of the healthier foods that were considered diet foods start I started to feel okay with choosing on my own and not because I feel like that's the right thing to do. Melissa Landry 18:42 Yeah, that's like the allergic to healthy foods feeling. People tell us a lot about like, they forced themselves for so long, or associated. Like I hear about smoothies a lot. I hear about salads a lot. When someone told me they're eating hummus every day, even though they hate it lately. I'm like then don't eat hummus. Steph 18:59 Like, eat like some of the people in my life who are thin, they have just vegetables or they have just hummus or they don't have dairy. They don't have gluten, they don't have meat. Some of them don't have meat. Like I suppose when like those things start to become like the enemy when you feel like well, this is like this is the right way to do things. And I tend to be drawn more to this instead. So I think it's just finding that balance. Melissa Landry 19:22 Yeah. And little by little, like you said, like the neutrality around former forbidden foods, what we tend to think about as when we're on diets like cookies, sweets, pizza, that kind of stuff. Yes, we neutralize those things, but that wound of neutralizing all foods so that you remember one day you're like OMG I just craved a salad. I don't feel deprived. I actually really wanted it. I ate it. I moved on. It's not a big deal. And I'm not forcing myself to eat them every day this week. Right? Like it was just a thing and you moved on which I know felt very surprising to you. Steph 19:54 Yes, I was not expecting that. And I even crave smoothies and have the same reaction. Like, Oh, smoothies used to be a chore. And now I, sometimes I just want it. Melissa Landry 20:04 That's the trust part, right? Like you got to do the work to get there. But then when you do, you can't unlearn that, like, that's just a part of how you approach food, which is really cool. You know, I always wonder about people listening to these episodes with a former client, can you share? Like, why did you want to come on the podcast? What did it mean to you to be able to share your message today? Steph 20:23 I just feel it's important. You know, like, when I go on Instagram, and I read some of what you say other clients have said, and like a lot of it resonated with me like, well, maybe something I said, is gonna resonate with somebody too, and make them feel less alone. Melissa Landry 20:36 Yeah this pay it forward thing I think a lot of us are interested in because we all know anyone who's done this work to become more in tune with themselves and honor they how they feel like we know how hard it is. And I think we're all really invested. That's like the break the diet cycle mission that me and Selena have, like, we really want all of you to feel empowered to change your life and then share your story because it's going to inspire someone else. I appreciate you sharing yours today. Is there anything else you'd want somewhere in a similar spot to you, especially someone who is postpartum? What would you want them to know and hear? Steph 21:11 Nobody talks about or can prepare you for postpartum? I think it's something that it's really hard to explain to someone who's never been through it. And like I even shared that with, with a friend I know who is a parent. I'm like, Yeah, you can't explain parenting to someone who has never been through it. I mean, it before I was a parent, there was things i intellectually got. But I now that I'm in the trenches, and I'm going through all the emotional ups and downs, same thing with postpartum and I think, what I'm learning every day, there's a lot of hormones involved. And especially now that I'm not breastfeeding anymore, like my cravings are all over the place. Like I used to be really ravenous and now like and, and I heard that it'll take about three months for your body to like, not get that ravenous feeling which I had no idea. Yeah, to none. Melissa Landry 22:01 I've never heard. What do you say? Dalina? Dalina Soto 22:03 It's a mindfuck. Yeah. Oh, but it's so much because again, it's the hormones and again, just to kind of like, talk a little bit about visits, we get told that everything's just gonna go back to normal after you have a baby. And it's like, especially we know someone that's yeah, the weight really quickly, that kind of reinforces that. Yeah, it's like you expect your body to just be bounce back, but like, not even just bounce back weight wise, really, but just like everything else. I was gonna say, yeah, like everything and it doesn't. It doesn't sometimes listen. Bryson's gonna be five but I still feel like I'm not okay. Melissa Landry 22:39 It's still normalized. It's a new normal. It seems normal. Yeah, like, yeah, it's hard to even imagine. Yeah, I Dalina Soto 22:47 did an amazing thing and to expect, I think that that's what I really It angers me about diet, culture, snapback culture, like postpartum, like diety culture is that your body is not the same anymore, because it literally shifted to grow life. You're never going to go back. Even if like, you look the same. Your bodies technically not even your brain changes your life changing person. Steph 23:12 My body started changing even before I was pregnant. So bonus piece of information that I don't even take the listeners. Ryan was an IVF, baby. And when that when my husband and I were trying to get pregnant, like they kept saying like, Oh, lose the weight, lose the weight, lose the weight, but I did and made no answer difference. And it was me. I don't even know if I should. Melissa Landry 23:35 They will tell you before, Steph 23:37 like I think they just assumed like, Oh, you got to lose Melissa Landry 23:40 it. Yeah. Yeah, that resonates. And you know, the more people talk about it, like, infertility does not just impact women. It equally impacts men. It is yeah. And I think really Steph 23:50 soon when when someone's overweight, like, Oh, you got to lose it. It's like not necessarily. Yeah. Well, Melissa Landry 23:57 I can't tell you I know what was art was, Steph 23:59 the topic was mostly and postpartum. But since we were talking about it, I just thought like my body was changing even before it was. Yeah, well, yeah. Melissa Landry 24:06 And I think this is what makes you It made you such an amazing person to work with, like your ability to say, wait a minute, I deserve respect. I deserve good care. Like, I know, in the past, they weren't always clear on how exactly to act on that. But that has always been inside of you stuff like and that's the part that always was such a joy working with you is you had that lens to be like, Wait a minute. That's not right. And you got yourself the support and you ran with it. I mean, in three months, it was really incredible to watch those shifts in you. So thank you for sharing this because I'm positive. Someone listening is like bobble head nodding like a halt. We do need to talk about this stuff. Because otherwise we think I don't Steph 24:46 think enough people do. Right? You're not growing when I started opening up and all of a sudden people like they either knew somebody or it happened to them. Melissa Landry 24:53 Yeah. Well, you're such a role model for that. I appreciate your time. I appreciate you took a break from your school teaching today, it meant the world to us to spend some time together. Thanks for being on the podcast stuff. Steph 25:05 Thanks for inviting me. This is really fun. Thank you. Dalina Soto 25:08 I see my flag in the background behind you. There's lots of Melissa Landry 25:14 country flags as we are in the classroom right now. Represent last time I Steph 25:20 I chatted with Melissa I was at my teacher desk but I'm like I because I don't know if if someone's gonna barge in any minutes I locked the doors. Melissa Landry 25:28 the teachers ever hiding closets for five seconds apiece. Dalina Soto 25:34 Well, let's go back to teaching these kids. You're amazing. Melissa Landry 25:37 Yeah, no, Steph 25:38 my contract. I can leave now. So yeah, so thank you so much for having me. This was great. Melissa Landry 25:44 Thank you. That was such a treat to talk to Steph. I really admire her as a person. She is a teacher, she is a mom. You know, as much as she felt sort of on the fence about Intuitive Eating sometimes she always believed in herself and she kept going. I think that's such an important thing that we we can all feel inspired by like when you see people who struggle and get up and try again it makes all the difference. And I want to say if any of you are inspired by Steph story today and you're like I think I could make this happen with the right support I could make this happen if someone would just give me the feedback and help me understand what am I doing wrong? Why is it that I'm doing the intuitive eating I see on Instagram and nothing seems to be happening. We can talk about all of that. And so if you are looking for support, I want you to DME at no dot more dot guilt just say hello I can hear a little bit about your struggles maybe offer you into my one to one coaching that's always going on or let you know about a special offer. I rotate them periodically things like memberships small group coaching and courses. Whatever it is that you need, I'm positive we can find a way to support you with inside no more guilt. So give me a message or head over to Melissa Landry nutrition.com Thanks for being here and for being who you are. Dalina Soto 26:59 needs love and break the diet cycle.